He was just a dog!   1 comment

A year ago this month my circumstances in life took a big change. With that change I had to move into the loving home of my daughter. This was such a blessing, something that not all people have the opportunity to experience. However, with this change in living space I could not take my long time (8 years) companion with me, he just would not work out at my daughters home. My sister, God bless her, agreed to take Hank and keep him as long as needed. So this is the story of Hank, one of the many blessings in my life.

Hank and I first met at the shelter here in my hometown. I passed him by  a couple of times, but each time I came back to his cage he was looking at me as if to say “what are you waiting for, I’m the one!” My grandson and son in law were with me that day and I decided to let my grandson make the decision for me. So what does he do, but walk right up to Hank’s cage and says “This one”. So out Hank came, calmly walked with my grandson on a leash gentle giant that he was. So ok Hank was now ours. I am sure by the time I got Hank home he had grown twice his size, he didn’t look that big out at the shelter. But he was!!! He was everywhere in the house and outside. He was making his home HIS home. I had a smaller dog that was a lap dog, so Hank thought he should be too.. he soon figured out nope that was not going to work. He became content to lay at my feet and look up at me once in awhile to see if I was still there and paying attention to him.

Hank was a gentle giant and a great protector. He would let you know if he felt someone was a threat or ok to be in our space. He loved everyone and would greet you with his big loping run every time he saw you. This could be a problem, as Hank was a herding dog, so therefore my grandchildren were “herded” quite often. Thinking back maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing.

Over the years Hank was by my side, through everything. Through all the wonderful times and some not so wonderful times. It was if he knew what I needed at the specific time I needed it. He would be very close when I was sad and would show his love with kiss to my hand or paw in my lap. He just always knew.

The last six months to a year of Hank’s life he started moving slower and started having problems getting up. Some days he just couldn’t get up. The vet said it was a joint disease; which turned out to be cancer in his hips. The day my sister came to get Hank and take him to her house he was having more difficulty than I had ever noticed getting up and moving around. He hobbled over to  my sisters car looking back at me as if to say “are you coming”. I told him I would be there soon. He stumbled when he got in the back seat and I knew in my heart he was hurting, made a mental note to call the vet in the morning see if there was anything we could do. And off he went with my sister.

Later that night after moving and complete exhaustion had set in. My sister called and said she was really worried about Hank. He was not moving at all. We decided I would come over in the morning and we would decide what to do. My sister had Hank out on the back screened in porch; she was so worried about him that she spent the night with him on that porch encouraging him to drink and try to eat. She called me at six in the morning and I went over to check on Hank. I knew when I saw him, but didn’t want to believe it, that he was not going to be with me much longer. After many calls and getting help to take Hank to the vet (he still weighted at least 120 pounds) we arrived at the emergency vet office. Watching the vet closely I knew what her next words were going to be. The cancer had grown, the lump on his hip was the size of my fist, explaining why he could not move. My son in law and myself had a very hard decision to make, the vet couldn’t tell us what to do, but I knew..I knew in my heart he didn’t need to suffer anymore.

I can’t do this anymore!   Leave a comment

How many times have you made this comment “I can’t do this anymore”. How many times have you realized you are saying these words because something needs to change, something different needs to be done? I have found myself saying or uttering or thinking those words many times in the past and yes just recently. As with any thought that is going through your head there is a message behind it. Well what is it you can’t do anymore? Or that you think you can’t do anymore? Tear it apart, look at it and decide what needs to change. That’s all it is; that small still voice trying to get your attention that something needs to be improved; changed; worked on; explored or left behind. What is it that you are going through or trying to do? With me it’s starting and moving forward in my new business “Soothing Winds Counseling Center”. Defining what she is to look like and what services she is to offer. I developed and created SWCC from my past experiences; my past knowledge and built her just the same way I had my last business. The small still voice is telling me..nope needs to be different. Not all of it but expand on what you truly set out to do. The small still voice is guiding me. My part is not to be afraid to move forward with this guidance. Not to be who I was before; I left that behind and as I do sometimes try to bring it with me. That just does not work. If you have prayed for a new beginning, as I did, then let the new beginning take place..follow it and be thankful for everything. What has your small still voice been telling you… is it telling you “I can’t do this anymore?” as it was me…then follow that lead ask for more guidance and move forward. That darn past doesn’t belong in your present and future.. Love and blessings to you this day and all days..

Posted May 28, 2013 by cami324 in Uncategorized

I Love My Teachers!   Leave a comment

We have teachers enter our lives in different ways. They can enter our lives in person such as school teachers; ministers; counselors; therapists, authors and friends. Teachers can also enter our lives as strangers, people we meet for just a few moments can teach us something if we are open to receive the teaching. It could be that person you notice helping someone else, teaches us to be kinder to provide help to others when we can. Help doesn’t have to be a big deal, sometimes the small “helping” can be of great benefit to someone. It can be that person that is in such a hurry in the morning, for whatever reason, that cuts you off in traffic. The lesson this teacher is teaching is to bless and move on; not let something of this nature ruin your day.

I have been blessed with many teachers in my life from early childhood to my advanced childhood now. I have not always recognized the teacher at the time they were in my life. But something happens later on that triggers that teacher and what they were teaching me and the “ah ha” happens. I may have not liked what they were trying to teach me at the time, however everything, every teacher that has come into my life has taught me something that has been of value. The blessing is I can pass on that learning experience, become the teacher, and give back what I have learned. Sometimes people don’t like what I have to say or teach them, but they too will have the chance in the future to have their “ah ha” experience. Hopefully recognize it when it happens.

Are you a teacher? Of course you are. Are willing to take on the responsibility of being a teacher of life? Sure you are. What you have learned is of value and benefit to others. Be sure though when you are teaching that when needed you “shut up and listen” and become the student once again. That’s the circle of life…teacher/student/teacher/student.

The Waiting Game   Leave a comment

Sometimes it feel’s as though all one does is wait. Wait for or on someone else to get back with you. Wait for the mail. Wait for a process to take place. Wait, wait, wait. And while we are waiting that old impatience sets in. Why can’t they get it done quicker? Why are they not hurrying up and answering my questions? Why Why Why? Does this sound familiar? I have been playing the negative waiting game for a few weeks now. Waiting on processes to happen so as I can continue on with the rest of my part in this process. I have felt myself getting angry; frustrated and down right mad. Don’t they know it’s my life they are messing with? Don’t they know how awful this is making me feel. Waiting…Waiting … Waiting. So this morning I woke up in a terrible mood, just knowing I was going to get to wait some more. I set myself up for a day of being bitter and not someone others wanted to be around. And did that make things better? Nope it certainly did not. I am still waiting. But I’m doing the waiting game with a negativeness that is affecting others. So what could I do differently? How could I make the waiting game work for me? I decided first I would go inward and calm myself, connect with God. Ask if there was something else I needed to be doing while I’m in this waiting period of my life. Second I waited (yep waited) to hear an answer. I let myself wait in a peaceful and calm place, that place within that we all have and can connect with at any time, if we let ourselves do so. Many answers came to me. I can prepare more, be ready for the process to be completed. I can make sure my “ducks are in a row” and that everything I am in control of is checked once, twice maybe even three times. Know that I am truly ready when my waiting is over. The next thing I did was have a nice healthy cry followed by a nice healthy laugh. Both are very good for you. The tears let out the frustration and the laughter brings you back into balance. I have asked many clients many times “what are you in control of?” So that was the next thing I did, what am I in control of? Well the answer was loud and clear. I am in control of how I wait. If I choose to wait in anger and frustration so be it.. yep I can do that. If I choose to wait in peace and balance.. yep I can do that too. You can’t hurry someone else, you can’t make someone else come up to your speed and your timeline. What you can do is wait, make calls if necessary and needed or you can wait and know that all is in Divine Order, everything is coming into being just as it should be and just as it will be. The last thing I did is repeat this affirmation “I am a perfect being in the perfect place at the perfect time in a perfect universe”. And that I am!

Celebration of   Leave a comment

SERIOUSLY GOD THIS IS YOUR ANSWER?

On February 2nd I celebrated an anniversary. Now some will think wedding, birthday or something we usually celebrate. My anniversary celebration was the day my prayer was answered for spiritual growth and freedom. At the time, on that Thursday afternoon, I did not see the positive in what was happening or the events that were taking place. One year later I can say it was an answer to prayer, a prayer I had been praying for a very long time. On this day one year ago I left a place of employment. I had planned on leaving by the end of the month, however, my employer felt it necessary for me to leave 26 days earlier and not at all as I had envisioned myself moving on. However, as usual, it was all just the way it was supposed to be.

I had for many years, not even months or days but years, knew I was to move on. Fear held me in a place where I was not growing or being productive in any longer. I was no longer a positive energy for myself or others. But I stayed because I was too afraid to leave, too afraid to believe in God and that He would guide me where I needed to go. That he would provide for me no matter what. I was just down right afraid and living in fear at all times. The sick feeling in my stomach, in my feeling zone was constant. Indication of something needing to change. On February 2, 2012 it changed, in a brief minute my whole world changed.
At the time the “big change” took place, I was blessed to be in a Foundations Class with my Spiritual Center, Two Rivers Center for Spiritual Living. Was this a coincidence? I think not. I truly believe God set into motion exactly where I needed to be and at the time I needed to be there when all this took place. In this class I was being taught the foundations for a true belief system. A belief system, that over the past year has given me more strength and awakening that I had ever thought possible.

The searching for the freedom that was given to me did not start on February 2, 2012; it has been going on all my life. However this is about that day, and that answer to prayer. On that day I drove home in tears, wondering what the heck had just happened. It felt as though someone had just kicked me in the stomach and I was going to pass out. When I got home I felt as though I never wanted to open that door again, I never wanted that outside world to touch me again. I was in pain emotionally, physically and spiritually. I felt as though anything and everything I had worked for all my adult life had just ended. I had died. I was a victim. God had turned a deaf ear on me. He wasn’t listening; He wasn’t hearing my scream for help. Well it wasn’t God that wasn’t listening or answering my prayer. He was answering me full force. I had asked and I was receiving.

Over the next few weeks things were changing in my life so quickly I couldn’t keep up with them. It felt as though I could not stand another blow, another event happening to me that I did not understand. I could not understand why all this was happening to me. What the heck had I done to deserve this? Why was I being punished? Then one day as I sat on my living room floor with my two dogs, crying and sitting in front of a blazing fire, feeling very frightened and sorry for myself, I heard this small still voice call my name. I actually raised my head and said “what”. This small still voice said to me “What are you crying about, why are you so afraid? What is it?” My reply “I have lost everything. I have been thrown out like trash.” “Really?” the small still voice said. “Cami, you quit, you told them you were leaving. So what are you so upset about?” My tears stopped. I got up off the floor. I started laughing. I think if anyone would have been there, they would have thought I had truly lost it. The answer to my prayer had been given, just not in the way I thought it would come. I was set free. I was given my blessing. I thought hey where’s the party, where’s the “good job”, we will miss you, none of that, it was just all gone.
In the weeks that followed many more things, events happened. I lost my house. For the first time in my life I was evicted from my home, I was homeless. I was given the opportunity to live with my daughter (which is a big blessing).The day after I moved in with my daughter, my great protector and great friend who always loved me unconditionally died. He was my devoted friend, my protector, my dog Hank. He was huge in my life and now he was gone too. There were many times I questioned God “Seriously, this is your answer?” Well yes seriously this is His answer.

During this time I was in my Foundations Class, surrounded by my Spiritual Family, who was constantly supporting me, constantly encouraging me to continue on. I was being challenged in my thinking in a loving and kind way. I was challenged to make changes and address my thinking. I was the student. I was learning how to live the life I had asked for. Everything was in “Divine Order” just as it should be. The blessing I have had the past year, which at times I really had to look for, are amazing. The lessons I have been given and learned and have enhanced my life, are amazing. I know I am here for a great purpose and that each time I have a “shift” it is another opportunity to see God’s work in me and through me and how He is guiding my life.

I have to mention here the additional support I had during this transitional time in my life. In addition to my Foundations Class, I had available to me the Practioner’s and of course my minister from Two Rivers Center For Spiritual Living. No matter what time of day or how often I needed them they were always there. Doing a Spiritual Mind Treatment; just listening to me cry or meeting with me to give me hugs and assuring me I was loved. This I believe is the greatest blessing of all.

As a very wise person told me during that time, if it hadn’t happened the way it did I would have found a way to stay. God answered in His way, not mine. He answered my every request.

And the most wonderful part??? It ain’t over yet.

Acceptance of Blessings   Leave a comment

You might think what a strange title for a blog “Acceptance of Blessings”. However, do we always accept blessings that are sent our way? Do we always find the blessing in a difficult or sad event? Do we always find gratitude for everything in our life? This morning I received news that did not seem like a blessing at all. I felt sad, even cried. As I talked with my Spiritual Family, and went into prayer and meditation my knowing of blessings in everything reached me. Even though the news I heard is sad and many lives will be touched by this event, their is a blessing to be thankful for. The struggles are ending. The final Universal word has been spoken and now those involved can move on, start healing and begin with the newness that is always there following a hugh change in ones life. I call it the “shift”. During this shift you will be uncomfortable, frustrated and maybe a little fearful, but thats what the shift is all about. Change is difficult, but even more difficult at times is the acceptance of that change. “This too shall pass” is true. Don’t just let it pass though, work with the change, accept it and look for the wonderful new beginnings each change brings. There is the blessing…accept it..love it.. and share it.. Cami

So this is what life is about   1 comment

Today shows me I am on the right track. Do you know when your on the right track? What are the signs? How do you know that. Today my feelings tell me I am right where I’m suppose to be. For instance, I had the opportunity to really help someone get to where they needed to be. This person is safe, thats the purpose for what I do and what I am suppose to be doing. I feel good and when one feels good it shows in everything you do and say. When I look over the past year and the learning experiences I have had I have to be greatful for each and every one of them. I learned that when you pray that prayer will be answered, sometimes it is answered in way’s you never think is the answer. For example I wanted to leave the job I was in, but I was afraid to. I prayed for this and yep it was answered, again not in the way I really expected. As I looked back over the experience and with help from my minister I realized I would have never left it hadn’t happened the way it did…prayer answered!!!!.. I truly believe all the answers are within us and continue to guide us IF we listen, if we let go of the fear of whatever we are experiencing and continue to believe in our “small still voice”. It really is there, it really does speak to you. You have heard it many times..that voice that says “hmmm I probably shouldn’t be doing this”..but you go ahead and do it anyway… you didn’t listen, you chose not to listen. Now we get to take responsibility for our not listening, acting against everything that tells us not to do something or act in a certain way. How do we change this? Practice. It takes practice. Identify what it is that may be causing us to not listen, rearrange, redirect that thinking and listening. And Practice. In the mean time experience those learning experiences, be thankful for them and what they have taught you and move on sistah..just move on…I love life today. I still have so many things to take care of, but that’s life isn’t it??? Be thankful everyday not just on this coming Thursday for Thanksgiving, but everyday…there is something we can always be thankful for…cause that is what life is all about too!!!!! Happy Thanksgiving friends and family…I’m glad your all in my life.

Posted November 19, 2012 by cami324 in Uncategorized

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